10 reasons I hate puppies

cute puppiesIn no particular order:

  1. When they’re around, I can’t work or be productive in any way.
  2. When they leave I’m suddenly confronted with what a cold, dark place the world is.
  3. I get a sudden urge to buy a Jeep and move to the Adirondacks. And build a log cabin. And drink Natty Ice. And wear flannel.
  4. It’s embarrassing to hear myself talking to them (awww, uhuh uh, thurrrr, yeshshsh, yer so cuUUte yesh ew aaar!!!)
  5. After a while, all my shoes in the backroom closet start to smell like poop.
  6. I cry a lot knowing that their owners will probably raise them poorly, and turn that cute puppy into a stupid, fat dog… and knowing that is depressing.
  7. I actually grew angry once whilst arguing that Boo the Dog was indeed a real dog (Which he IS darn-it!!)
  8. They remind me of how friggen evil and cocky cats truly are.
  9. I want to jump up and down, drool and bark whenever I hear a cardboard box of cookies shake.
  10. On a cuteness scale of 1-10, puppies generally take spots 11-27. Human babies land at 1 or 2. Tops.

Fun stuff:

Cutest Ever

Rrraaawrr!

Boo is Real

Cats are awful

Man’s best friend

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think you’re doing pretty good? watch this…

First off, this video is top-notch. An excellently produced and narrated piece. It did a swell job of visualizing complex ideas. Three cheers to them, but…

I like to ask questions not being asked:

Is my definition of fair, well… is my definition fair?

Where does happiness reside on this scale?

How are the bottom 90% really doing? 

How did you think you were doing before watching this video? Aaand after? Any change? Better or worse?

Fixation on inequality will lead us to ask the wrong questions and in turn, draw wrong conclusions. Instead of “fixing” the gap we should be educating ourselves on how money works, how/when/where to invest money, and of course, in ways we can all become creators of systems rather than worker bees along. We can close the gap by creating opportunities. Take a guess at the biggest hurdle to creating opportunity in America.

“What we should do about this?”

Hmm… sadly, I bet most viewers in AmUrica are conditioned to immediately picture the “WE” = our government. Well, Bull$#!+. Do we (WE = regular folk) believe handing them more power (THEM = gov’t bureaucrats) will accomplish anything fair? Methinks they  have plenty of POW-er already.

And remember my fine friends, these cold hard stats alone leave out an important historical fact: The “bottom __% in America” is doing fine. Great actually. (No, I’m not saying we forget about the poor and homeless: our society does and needs to continue taking care of them, etc etc). The working/lower/middle/upper-class in America all have opportunities, amenities, freedoms, and luxuries on an unprecedented level compared to most of the world and nearly all of the kings and queens throughout history.

We’re all the 1%ers, if just measured on a different scale. 

 

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Some extras for ya:

A fair definition of fair

Constitutional Republic

How to become rich

Amurica.com 

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get to the point

writing_a_letterHis point is very clear to me: it is WORK to write succinctly.

 I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead

Mark Twain

Cut the fluff. Think hard about what you’re trying to get across and stick to it.

Get.

To.

The.

Point.

Quickly.

Please.

Thank you!

🙂

what could be worse than failure?

image

I like to keep score. There, I said it. Not just with games (I generally dislike games with subjective scoring methods by the way) but with regular life. And not just against others, but in more general terms I ask myself how I’m doing with something. “Am I doing a good job? Am I working hard? Was that last meeting successful?”

Do you do that too? Maybe you give yourself a score at work, volunteer organization, church or sports team. Whatever the place is might be irrelevant for now but many of us have mentally given ourselves an A+, C- or even pass/fail grade for some of the things we do.

Now, this next thought is very incomplete so don’t shoot me, but within all those organizations there are various actions that we could grade ourselves on. For simplicity we’ll call them boxes that need to be checked; Attendance, work ethic, input given, relationships built, win/loss record, belief, knowledge gained, concern for others, orderliness, timeliness, and many others. Check Check Check!

Two questions I’ve considered recently in this regard:

Should I be grading myself on a curve? This decision will greatly impact the outcome of participation. Some times and in some places it IS good to compare to others and determine the grade/score/performance as something framed in the context of the group. Some times it is not.

What if I’ve been checking the wrong boxes? I’ll put it like this… an A+/pass/excellent grade doing the wrong things ain’t good. I may be giving myself a great score at checking these boxes. Maybe I should spend more time looking at value of the boxes themselves, rather than my current score.

The only thing worse than failure is massive success at something that doesn’t matter

The 25 things you should do before you…..

The heck I should!

You’ve seen those lists before too, right?

“100 things to do before you die, 25 exercises you should try today, the top-50 places to visit on your next long weekend, etc etc…”

Now, they can be motivating can’t they? If you’re at all like me you see those lists and your think “hot dang, I’m gonna do that NEXT year! Yeah, that’s going to be great!” Shiny objects or not, I’m.All.Over.That. Next year. (haha)

You know what I dislike most about those lists? I’ll tell you, it is that they are so appealing. I know I can’t hit the whole list any time soon, but I just can’t take a look and not google/wiki/map/research all of them anywaysss. You think DOING all of those things takes time? Try researching them. THAT takes time.

With all these things that seem to be demands on our time, we need to realize:

1) they are not demands, only suggestions – really nice suggestions – so don’t feel negative pressure.

2) they are someone else’s ideas – not yours – so keep in mind they may be wrong.

3) there are actually a million and one things to do – no such thing as a top-10, 50, or 100 – so feel free to write your own list.

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Here are a few interesting list in the meantime:

  1. Top 10 things to do in 2012 (They say it’s ever too late lol)
  2. 22 Unbelievable places (Have to admit this is more than pretty cool)
  3. 35 Books you must read (Happy to report I’ve read 12 of them)
  4. Top Crossfit workout (I believe my score last year was 421)

Send me your lists!!

debt vs chickens in the freezer

Most of us spend too much money.

Basic economics states that if spending exceeds income, the OUTcome will be somewhere between completely miserable and total $^@& chaos.

Confucius say, He who will not economize will have to agonize.

Listen to the advice of one of my favorite people, my Uncle Jim. Raised on a chicken farm in Indiana, he puts it like this: “saving money is like putting chickens in the freezer.”

Many of the problems we face can be attributed to a frozen chicken deficit. Think about it and be honest. YOU probably spend too much money. Sure, you could always make more, but c’mon should you really have spent bought that ______ the other day? Go check the freezer, get a count of the chickens and get back to me. 🙂

See below for some fun links…..

Image

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Financial common sense:

1) Crown Financial

2) For the mom’s out there

3) Ramsey

Money Humor:

1) Funny money one-liners:

2) Comedy Central

3) Forbes financial anecdotes

Wow! Look at that Debt:

1) International debt info-graphic

2) USA Debt

3) Really boring article if you’re interested

A dead ringer

So I think it went like this (Thanks Howard)

A while back when the Hunchback from Notre Dame passed away, RIP, they needed to find a new bell-ringer for the tower.

They held interviews and narrowed it down to a few qualified candidates, one of which – crazy enough – actually had no arms.  (wow I know, right?)

“How are you going to ring the bell without any arms?” they asked.

He just smiled and said “watch me!” And then proceeded to dead-sprint towards the bell, and smacking his face directly into the 13-ton bronze mass….. BOooOonng!!!!!! The bell sounded quite nicely. Very impressed, the powers that be hired the armless man on the spot.

Mr. No-Arms did well for a few weeks until one day, sadly, he missed the bell with his face and fell down the hole in the tower and didn’t survive the 10-story fall.

Two Parisian policemen showed up to investigate. They took a long look at the situation and scratched their heads.

“Hmm… that was quite a fall” one of them exclaimed.

“Yes indeed” responded the other… “wait a minute does this guy look familiar?”

“Well, I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell!”

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So there you go.

The real story I found interesting related to Notre Dame in Paris was the conflict surrounding who owns the bells. Take a look at these two articles if you want to know more:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/nov/12/ding-dang-notre-dame-bells

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/the-bells-the-bells-why-notre-dame-is-ringing-the-changes-7440657.html

Notre Dame's Emmanuel bell

getting hit with bad examples

Scenario 1: A person complains about _____ modern technology, whilst using another modern technology. “Ya know these smart phones are actually making us all dumb and lazy. People used to have to open books and write letters to get information” they say while on their laptop computer, with the cable-TV on, in their air-conditioned home. Yes, those smart phones are awful… really doing horrible things to our culture, we used to have to write letters blah, blah…. and chop our own wood, deal with 105-degree humid days, entertain ourselves w/o TV, etc etc. Which way would you like it?

Scenario 2: Someone upset with modern medicine says “well, people used to not visit the doctor all the time, and somehow we made it through.” Ok, well “we” did make it through, but we also died from cholera, yellow-fever, the flu, infections from camel-bites and other blights we’ve since conquered with modern medicine, so stop complaining.

Scenario 3: I’ve heard “why would you WASTE so much money on a _____ (my car) when a _____ (crap car) is just as reliable? You know, my _____ is never in the shop and besides, we saved _____ thousands of dollars.” Ok, well first off show me where you hid the ____ thousand dollars you saved. Next, some of us buy cars because we like to drive, just like nearly everyone purchases other goods because they work well. There’s nothing wrong with having something that not only gets the job done, but is an enjoyable/comfortable experience. And that’s not a modern phenomenon. Throughout history people have made attempts – limited only be the available technology and resources – to make things not just functional, but comfortable and enjoyable to use. Can you name ONE item or product in your home that is not an example of function PLUS some level of comfort and enjoyment?

Those are just a few of the recent bad examples I’ve been hit with. Yes, we can gain some perspective from others’ complaints but some are just plain incomplete and thus, I’d say bad.

Let’s work on this one 🙂

24 things I can do without, thank you

  1. In-the-wall garbage cans. They are too small and always have stuff hanging out of them.
  2. Tiny movie-theater receipts. I want to avoid the awkward passing back and forth with the sophomore guarding the entrance. He rips the others and gives me this one back. No thanks I’m all set with that.
  3. Tim Horton’s coffee cup lids. They’re the worst in the industry. McD’s has the best lids. They matter.
  4. Cigarette lighters in cars. Let’s try for a normal plug please?
  5. Fax machines. That’s all.
  6. “My-name-is-SumAntha-n-I’m gonna-be-taking-care-of-ewe-guys-tiniight” intros at restaurants. Use your words Samantha.
  7. “Support _______ month by purchasing _______ product because .0000005% of net proceeds will be used to support ________” – Type promotions. How bout giving a @$%! about a cause instead of trying a marketing ploy to push product?
  8. Cash registers that ask debit or credit. Just swipe and sign should be good enough right?
  9. People in ANY customer service position that apparently hate working with people. If you don’t want to serve me when I walk in to your business, get a different job. Become an over the road truck driver or a welder or something like that.
  10. Politicians who think they are the Lord or Lady of a region. No, you’re that area’s servant thank you very much.
  11. Four-way traffic lights. Ok, I know I know…. but just picture a world with only roundabouts!
  12. Cheap plastic straws. They crack and we need more suction.
  13. Nutrition labels on bottled water. Calories? Ingredients? Hmm…
  14. Auto dealership radio ads. They’re just not good.
  15. Renewal postcards that fall out of magazines. Never used one and never ever will.
  16. 30% of workers on most highway construction crews. We don’t need three of you holding up that shovel.
  17. Farmville. It might be cute, but no thanks.
  18. Online forms where EVERYTHING is a required field. You don’t need to know my prefix Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Dr, Hon, etc… It’s just Nathan.
  19. Female department store mannequins with really aggressive nipples. A little creepy?
  20. Chain emails. I really doubt you’ll give me a special blessing if I send it to eleven friends.
  21. Soccer referees who don’t even run. Do it for the kids dude.
  22. Air-hockey. It’s a heart attack waiting to happen.
  23. Gas pump handles that have the little auto-fill tabs removed. I’m not a child, and I won’t accidentally create a gusher. Allow me to put my hand in my pockets when it is negative-100 degrees in January.
  24. List of things that are 10, 25, 50, 100 or some other round number long. It makes me doubt the reality of each item’s originality.

how many sides to the coin?

I heard a wise man state, while waxing eloquent to his disinterested, half-naked audience of thee in our gym locker room : “Ah, well ya know, dare are SOO many lessons to learn by both sides of tha debate in Waashingtin.”

Oh really? Both sides? Folks, there really aren’t two sides to any discussion. Maybe we are programmed to think that because we only argue with one person at a time. But if you really think about it, there are as many sides and options, opinions, views, etc as there are people. That’s your free advice for the day.

Example: as we consider the dangers our nations face, although common sense answers are plentiful and simple…. keep in mind that people with opinions of how to run things are also that: plentiful and simple. The “two sides” problem of our modern party system of government was addressed by Washington in his farewell address along with several other goodies.

Your mission: try to find that third, fourth and fifth side of the coin now and then.